Do You Value Yourself?
Why do women struggle putting themselves first?
Many women have problems with allowing themselves guilt free time, or investing in something they need or simply making themselves a priority?
It’s a bit like this; everyone and every other thing requires our attention first. There’s not enough money and or time as it is. Nothing seems to fit in with work, family and life in general. Sound familiar? We make so many excuses as to why we can’t or shouldn’t invest time or money into ourselves. It is ongoing and to be quite honest, it is putting a massive strain on you and your relationships.
Here’s what it boils down to your self-esteem and how much you value yourself.
Some women consider it to be selfish to put them first. Is it really selfish to take time to do what makes you feel good, something that gives your spirit a lift, time to grow, nurture and re charge?
It is important that you are a positive role model; you are more than a survivor. Someone who triumphs rides the waves of life with courage, contentment and honour. Some powerful words that mean, taking responsibility and setting some very important boundaries.
Effects of Self-Esteem
When you go on a flight and the aircraft stewards run through the - in case of emergency spiel? As a mother it is horrifying to think we have to protect and mask ourselves before our children isn’t it. Naturally we want to be the first to offer our kids assistance, however it is quite clear in this example you cannot help your kids or others if you have not first taken care you YOU.
Therefore you have to take responsibility, set healthy boundaries and most importantly value yourself.
This is what a women with high self- esteem and values herself looks like;
Someone who sets healthy boundaries
Someone who trusts herself
Someone who chooses wisely
Someone who accepts responsibility
Someone who doesn’t seek reassurance from others
This is what a women with low self-esteem and does not value herself enough looks like;
Someone who does not accept compliments
Someone who uses negative self-talk
Someone who finds herself often complaining
Someone who focuses on negativity
Someone who feels anxious, sad, angry, depressed
1.“If you have low self-esteem you may have difficulty with relationships and problems at work or school. You may become very upset by criticism or disapproval and withdraw from activities and people. You could also have problems with your body image, drink too much alcohol or take drugs and you might not stand up for yourself when you are bullied or abused”.
This is why women feel they cannot put themselves first. It is simple because of their self-worth. Recently everything I write about, all my conversations I have seem to come down to “self-worth”. I believe everything starts and finishes with our self-esteem.
Remember self-esteem is your true self not your ego self.
You know you value yourself enough when you recognise that a situation is not right for you, when you change an environment that is not good for you to stay in, when to stand up for yourself and when you take responsibility and make positive changes. High five when we start to live by these standards :)
Like attracts like? Value attracts value. It works the same way. You are a reflection of what you attract or allow in your life. If you find yourself in situations that are a constant struggle or challenge then you need to take a look at why.
Others will value you, when you value yourself.
People that constantly talk negatively, complain or are often angry, anxious and sad are most likely suffering from low self-esteem. These people may also have little confidence and live by their fears and insecurities. The good news is… there are ways to build and boost your self-esteem.
What is the solution?
Make time to invest in you.
Take regular breaks from your daily life
Get out of your own way
Get out of your headspace
Remember and write down your dreams & desires
Find things you like to do and stick with them
Look at what challenges you
Recognise your strengths
Set achievable goals
Be the real you… always
Chose to quieten the mind
The list goes on. Be responsible; take action because YOU are by far the most important person in your life. You cannot give to others whole heartedly when you do not give to yourself. The message is loud and clear in order to feel happiness, peace, love and compassion find the real you, and develop your self-esteem.
Good luck and don’t give up on the decision to build your self-esteem it is the best investment you will ever make.
You may find more on building self-esteem in my book “Soar Like An Eagle Beautiful Woman”. A short book of real stories, examples, tips and tools on how to be the best version of you. I hope you enjoy it.
Visit www.loveyourlifecoach.com.au to see book reviews and make your purchase.
Love Rach xo
1.Mind Health Connect website.