Mother Daughter...Connection
Do you connect with your daughter?
If you can take yourself back to the age your daughter currently is and ask yourself; how you felt daily, how you reacted to certain situations and people in your life and who or what you thought of the most? May I suggest it be a good exercise to actually write down those answers to get a clear understanding of how, perhaps, your daughter may be feeling or coping today.
You see our kids mimic our reactions, tones, and expressions, take on our ideas, energies and simply become mini versions of us. Often emotions are passed on generationally and this is not usually common knowledge therefore we all have to figure it out for ourselves. You don’t often here mothers saying “Oh I am sorry you reacted like that honey, in fact that is my fear I have carried my whole life and now, I am sharing it with you”.
Without realising it, as a mother we do share our emotions both good and not so good with our kids. This can play havoc in our relationships and sometimes create conflict that we find difficult to live with. As our daughters grow and develop they have their hormones to deal with and as we know all too well, hormones are not much fun. To sum it up our daughters have genetically inherited emotions, their own personalities and those incredible fluctuating hormones to feel, experience and cope with… woo hoo sounds delightful.
I don’t know what your relationship with your mother was like and I am sure we are all different however; I did not feel connected to my mum. I knew she loved me and took very good care of me however we did not have a connection. I feel when the connection is missing both mum and daughter struggle to understand each other and find that challenges are so much harder to resolve.
Connection is crucial to your relationship with your daughter.
I would like to share this study I found when researching connection between mother and daughter. I was pleased to find a study supporting the exact message I wanted to share with you. Check out the following study and outcomes;
A THESIS SUBMITTED TO THE GRADUATE SCHOOL OF SOCIAL SCIENCES OF MIDDLE EAST TECHNICAL UNIVERSITY
“The purpose of the study was to examine the relation of mother daughter relationship to well- being of the daughters with respect to self-esteem and life satisfaction. The sample was consisting of 426 female university students from Ankara and Kırşehir with a mean age of 21.62 (SD= 2.35). The scales which were used in that study are Adult Daughter Questionnaire (MAD) (Rastogi, 1995), The Rosenberg Self- Esteem Scale (Rosenberg, 1965), The Satisfaction with Life Scale (SWLS) (Diener, Emmons, Larsen, & Griffin, 1985). Adult Daughter Questionaire (MAD) (Rastogi, 1995) has been used to measure the current mother-daughter relationship. The Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale (Rosenberg, 1965) has been used to measure global self -esteem, and The Satisfaction with Life Scale (SWLS) (Diener, Emmons, Larsen, and Griffin, 1985) has been used to measure the global life satisfaction. The canonical correlation analysis was utilized to examine the relationships between the mother daughter questionnaire’s subscales (connectedness, interdependency and trust in hierarchy) and the two indicators of well -being namely life satisfaction and self-esteem.
The results of the study showed that the three indicators of the mother- daughter relationship (connectedness, interdependency, and trust in hierarchy) and the two indicators of well -being (self-esteem and life satisfaction) were interrelated. In other words mother daughter relationship is positively related to life satisfaction and self- esteem of the daughters”.
As women we talk to our friends and family seeking answers and advice when it comes to our daughters. I believe the answers are within each of us we need trust and time to look inwards and share our thoughts with our daughters. It opens up the communication lines and invites connection, trust, love and respect.
This brings me to our Mother Daughter workshop, an opportunity to connect, understand and respect each other on a whole new level. Discover the importance of self-esteem, what it is and how to build it. Combined with the absolute magic of mindfulness and relaxation you cannot lose. Taking the time to stop and smell the roses is just what we all need from time to time and often us mothers forget how. This workshop is an opportunity for both mum and daughter to chill out, give back and perhaps learn something that may change your life. Learning how to love your life will filter down into your children, family and into your community. Learning is a gift; why not learn more about yourself in order to be the best you can be.
I hope you can join me, for more information or to book in click onto the website and look for Mother Daughter workshop.
Rachel Dickey
Holistic Counselor and healer, sharing the importance of connecting with our daughters.